I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
