You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
