she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can I color on your dick again?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
