I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
