My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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