i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
