Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I faked an abortion last night.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
