so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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