u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
