Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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