I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
