I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
