Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
