like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
