I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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