Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
