you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
