after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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