i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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