2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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