Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
