the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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