Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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