He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this just has baby written all over it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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