Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
