I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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