obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
