we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
