Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
