i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
