She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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