Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
