Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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