I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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