He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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