i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
