I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
