What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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