Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just had sex on a roof
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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