actually, I'm a sock model
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
