What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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