whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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