im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
