these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
