he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
