Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
