Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
