Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
