Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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