he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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