i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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