I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
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