its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
