UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
