I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
